Dear Carolyn: Im getting married. Thats awesome. However, my parents want me to ask my brother to be my best man. The idea of letting my brother, whos spent his whole life being the biggest jerk he can manage, stand up and give a speech about me makes me want to break something.
He outed me as gay in high school; Im bi, but that was hard to explain to an idiot who wanted to beat me up in the toilets. He told everyone I was the reason he was in a wheelchair because I pushed him downstairs once (it was not). Mum convinced me to put hand controls in my car so he could learn to drive, and he crashed the car on purpose after a fight with me.
I get that part of it is a habit of putting me down to prop himself up the sort of school where dudes beat you up because youre gay isnt a great place to be in a chair. However, hes also a jerk and a bit of a bully.