In-law’s social media posts hurt childless mom

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August 27, 2019 - 10:13 AM

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been trying to conceive for the better part of a year now with no success. It’s been tough, especially with several close friends and family members getting pregnant while I haven’t, but I’m trying to keep my chin up.

My mother-in-law is friends with my parents and siblings on social media and comments on every photo of my baby nephew — and my family posts a lot — with things like, “You are so lucky to be a grandma!” or “Your family makes such cute babies!” These comments always end up in my feed, and they make me upset every time I see them. I feel ridiculous telling her that she can’t comment on my family’s photos, but her comments make me feel a lot of pressure and resentment. She has no idea we’re having trouble conceiving or even that we’re trying, and I definitely don’t want to tell her. Do I just have to suck it up and seethe quietly to myself? — You Know I Can See This, Right?

Dear You: Social media is not required! That is the shortest distance between you and a healthier state of mind. Unplug. Or “pause” your mother-in-law, or edit your feed to exclude the baby posts, whatever works. Let them all carry on somewhere beyond the reach of your nerves. It is as basic as advising someone whose cut won’t heal to stop picking the scab.

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