It’s natural to struggle as teenager pulls away



December 10, 2019 - 9:28 AM

Hi, Carolyn: My oldest kiddo is turning 14 in a few weeks and asked me last night if he could go to a friend’s cabin for the weekend — leaving on his actual birthday — and celebrate with that friend who also recently had a birthday, a couple of other friends and the parents of the other birthday kid. So he won’t be home with me, his dad and his younger brother for his birthday, save for the morning time before school.

I know he really really really wants to do it and he loves his pals so much and I said, “Sure!” But my face gave away my true feelings of heartache and I was very teary-eyed. In my rational mind I know this is normal and fine and of course he should go .?.?. but when I think of him going away that night/weekend for his birthday celebration, I am really sad. I want him to do what he wants and be with whom he wants, but, oh, it hurts.

I am having a hard time faking my “It’s totally fine with me” vibe with him, and I don’t want him to not do what he wants because he is worried his mommy will be sad. Any advice? — Teary-Eyed

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