Baby shower expectations don’t match reality

Proper etiquette is no reason to let down friend whose mother isn't helping.

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Lifestyle

March 17, 2020 - 9:17 AM

Carolyn Hax

Dear Carolyn: A friend I have known since middle school is expecting her first baby. After talking with a few of our close mutual friends, it seems as though the responsibility of her baby shower has been placed in our hands. Her parents live out of state yet visit often.

I have spoken with her mother and she has mentioned casually that if we need any money to let her know; besides that, she is expecting an invitation in the mail with the legwork, planning and cost taken care of. I have been to countless showers, and, to the best of my knowledge, I thought that wedding showers were thrown by bridesmaids and baby showers were thrown by mothers or mothers-in-law.

I do not want my friend to miss out on her first baby shower, at the same time we are all busy adults with families and jobs and feel as though this is a lot to expect of us. Am I wrong? What is the proper etiquette? — Shower Confusion

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