Dear Carolyn: I have been living with my boyfriend for two years, and as far as I am concerned, our relationship is perfect. I have no interest in marriage; I never did. I like the fact that we get up every morning and make the free choice to be with each other. I don’t want any more children, either. I got pregnant in college, and my son will be going off to college soon and that’s enough child-raising for me.
My boyfriend’s mom and sister hinted about marriage several times and even asked my boyfriend directly, but I always assumed he shut that down. I now find out from his sister that my boyfriend told his family I’ve been “nagging him for a ring” but he’s just not ready to make a commitment.
When I confronted my boyfriend about this outrageous lie, he said his family would consider me weird and unnatural and blame me for the fact that we’re not married. This way “he can take the heat.”