Mom-to-be doesn’t want baby shower

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October 28, 2019 - 9:57 AM

Dear Carolyn: I am happily transitioning into my third trimester of a rainbow pregnancy [a pregnancy after a loss]. I … don’t want a baby shower. Like, I really don’t want a baby shower. There are a lot of reasons: I just moved to a new town, so no friends or family are within three hours of me; my family has been super generous with me my entire adulthood, and I don’t want to take anything more from them (except for baby help, which I’ll need a lot of); a lot of people receive a lot of superfluous stuff/toys during baby showers; people are already gifting me their secondhand baby items, which I love and are in great condition; after a previous miscarriage the idea of my pregnancy being the center of attention freaks me out.

I don’t have any problem with others who have loved their baby showers, I just don’t want one.

My husband, family, friends, and co-workers think this is ludicrous, and I am missing out on a key life-transition experience. They chastise me that babies are expensive, and that I’ll regret it later.

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