To go or not to go to the friend’s funeral



January 3, 2019 - 9:23 AM

Hi Carolyn: My friend’s boyfriend passed away last week and the funeral is tomorrow. My friend told her roommate that she didn’t want her friends going to the funeral if they were going just for her, and I’m torn on whether to go. Although I liked her boyfriend and considered him a friend, my connection to him was through her and I would mostly go to support her.

I want to respect her wishes, but I’m also worried that not going is the wrong thing, and that she will look back and be upset I wasn’t there. The service is being held six hours away from me, so I’ve got to figure it out today. — To Go or Not to Go

Answer: Maybe it’s just me, but I find “her wishes” almost impossible to parse. Anyone knowing both her and her boyfriend is supposed to choose?

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