Friend is pushing motherhood on others

"Next time, before you shut Anne down, consider encouraging her to open up. Give her room to talk about her stage of life right now."



June 22, 2020 - 9:10 AM

Dear Carolyn: A close college friend of mine, “Anne,” is a mom of a lovely 3-year-old, and for the past three years she has not stopped demanding that our mutual college friend — “Joan,” to whom I’m a bit closer — and I have children because it’s “the best!” and she’s “so excited for us to get pregnant and we can all be mothers.”

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Well, I’m only just getting married, and Joan is single. She has had some difficult abortion experiences and I haven’t been tested for fertility, nor am I at that stage. We have both tried explaining to Anne that we’re very uncomfortable with this topic and her approach, which is very assumptive and insensitive.

At a recent girls’ trip, Anne shouted about this again while drunk, and a separate friend of mine — they had all just met for the first time — later confessed that she has a variety of genetic and medical issues that will make pregnancy difficult, painful and expensive, if she can get pregnant at all. Joan and I were hoping this would be a wake-up call for Anne, but we’re both still anxious about what to do and dread that she will do this again. What else can we do to get through to her??

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