Friend’s reaction to job loss is worrisome

"It is indeed very troubling, and she will need friends who are up to the job of supporting her — which includes but is not limited to nudging her toward professional help if/when she resists dealing with the harder parts of her current reality"



August 3, 2020 - 9:15 AM

Hi, Carolyn: I recently found out that a close friend lost her job months ago and has been pretending to all, including her family, that she is still working. She dresses up, takes the train into town and kills time for eight hours every day. I am flabbergasted and do not know how to approach this with her. Obviously there is no shame in losing a job, but carrying on this charade is troubling.

— Flabbergasted

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Flabbergasted: This question is from 2019, before the big 180 made job loss ordinary and commuting bizarre — but the advice is the same. Say, “I’m sorry you’re going through this,” buy her some no-contact coffee and listen.

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