Dear Carolyn: My husbands brother has left after another visit and I would appreciate tips on how to tell him, when he asks to visit again, that we love him but hes not welcome back unless some things change drastically.
He never visited us until we moved to a cool city with lots to do. Now hes come twice, and we dont want a third. Hes immature and self-centered, but I wasnt prepared for what a bad houseguest he is. He wont have so much as a cup of coffee at our house, insisting on going out for everything. The first trip he just sat back expectantly when the check arrived, until we finally had to tell him we could not afford to pay for everything. He only wants to do what he wants to do, making faces and being passive aggressive at our suggestions. He doesnt pick up after himself, he drinks a lot. You get the idea.
My husbands suggestions are to either pretend were not available whenever he suggests visiting again, which is not really my style and is going to be suspicious eventually, or tell him he can visit for no more than two days. Im fine with that, but that will still necessitate a conversation about why.
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