Husband’s controlling manner a worry

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July 11, 2018 - 11:00 PM

Tell Me About It

Dear Carolyn: My parents live fairly close, but my brother and family are a plane ride away. They will be up at my parents’ house in a few days. My husband has limits to how much time he can spend with my family — really with anyone, as he is very introverted — and I respect that by not “forcing” him to join in anything or spend more time at my parents’ house than is comfortable.

Because we are about an hour’s drive away, I maintain I can spend the time I need to with my family during this visit and he can join when he is comfortable. However, he has taken to declaring that I will only go at certain times because he should be my priority and spending time together should be what’s more important to me. Because he is spending time with my family for a night/day, he says, this is what he is owed in return.

I want to slam my car door and get the hell out of there when he talks like this. But he is so convincing about prioritizing “our” family, currently just the two of us, that I have myself second-guessing. Is this what compromise looks like? — Priorities vs. Control

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