Husband keeps delaying parenthood

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August 26, 2019 - 10:22 AM

Dear Carolyn:

Before my husband and I married, we discussed kids, and, although he admitted he’d never had an overwhelming desire to have any, he knew how much it meant to me and agreed that one would be OK. Fine. Except that every time it comes up, he gets panicky and finds another reason to put it off. I’m 34, he’s 40, so it’s a somewhat limited window. He’s utterly convinced that once we have a baby, our lives will end. We will be impoverished, never travel again, etc. Which is ridiculous — we are OK financially, and have lots of family nearby to help out. Unfortunately, our friends with kids don’t help. They love to complain that they never have sex anymore, they are always broke, they never get any sleep. Why don’t people ever talk about the wonderful stuff? If it’s so awful, why do most of them have more than one kid? And what can I do to reassure my poor husband it will all be OK?

— J.

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