Family dreads in-law’s ski trip invites

A husband and wife are struggling with how to say no to a family member's anticipated invitation to an expensive ski trip, because of the family strife that is likely to ensue.



March 18, 2022 - 3:42 PM

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Dear Carolyn: I don’t want to be a family who goes on expensive ski trips. Neither does my husband. Both of us have suffered injuries that never really went away, and while only his was from winter sports, both of us are acutely aware of the lasting, life-altering impact of injuries medicine can’t fully heal, and of the high likelihood of such injuries occurring on crowded slopes. There is also the cultural issue: That level of affluence, of casual dithering away of funds on a dated symbol of wealth, among mostly White people of a mostly similar political stripe, isn’t the kind of environment we want our (still-tiny) kids to be exposed to with any degree of regularity.

But our sister-in-law loves it, and we know she’ll pressure us for big miserable expensive ski trips. (Husband is not super close with his family and is exasperated by spending more than a day or two with them.) We already anticipate having to wriggle out of events we don’t want to go to. How do we do so politely, with minimal drama? SIL is the get-drunk-and-sob type if drama arises, so that is the last thing we want. —Not a Snow Bunny

Not a Snow Bunny: Wow. Skiing just yelped and slunk into a corner.

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