Fiancee would rather have the bling

Her engagement ring pales in comparison to her friends, even though she is loathe to admit she cares about such trivialities.

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Lifestyle

January 3, 2023 - 5:01 PM

Photo by Pixabay.com

Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared Nov. 7, 2008.

Dear Carolyn: I know I’m a horrible person for admitting this, and feel free to throw flames at me, but I feel inadequate about my engagement ring. My mom never even had one, and I know huge blingy rings are just another product of the Wedding Industrial Complex that I so despise, but I just can’t help feeling bad when I see my friends’ giant rocks compared with my (very lovely, but smaller) ring. Part of it may be due to the fact that my friends already think my fiance is poor, because he has a blue-collar job, even though he makes a decent living. How do I stop feeling jealous of others and putting so much importance on material possessions? — D.C.

D.C.: “My friends already think my fiance is poor”! Wow. Smaller rock, meet the hard place: your conflicted feelings about status. Even if your friends are hateful snobs, this sounds like your insecurity talking; you gravitate to status-conscious friends, then profess or parade that you’ve chosen humble things. Yes? As in, the rock didn’t reject you; you rejected the rock?

It’s a theory. If it has no merit, then this is probably all just bling envy. Admit you’re impressed by opulence and leave it at that.

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