Must snoring, light sleeping drive a couple apart?

A snoring husband has his wife at her wit's end.



January 18, 2023 - 2:31 PM

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Hi Carolyn! This seems low-stakes given the state of the world, but it’s really dragging my family down. My husband has become an extremely light sleeper (stress!), and I snore. Last spring, I did three sleep studies, got diagnosed with sleep apnea and got a CPAP machine. It’s not working. I’ve tried many different masks, and I keep having the doctor increase the pressure, but I’m still snoring audibly all night. I have follow-up appointments with my sleep doc and ENT coming up, but in the meantime, my husband is so sleep-deprived that he walks around in a funk all day.

I know sleep deprivation is torture, but I’m starting to get resentful, too! I know the answer is for me to move out of the bedroom, at least temporarily — we don’t have a guest bedroom, but we do have a daybed in the family room — but how do I get over feeling resentful? Part of it is that he snores, too, but it doesn’t bother me. Also, my apnea is caused by a connective tissue disorder that causes me lots of pain every day, so it feels especially outside of my control. Thank you!

— Big Snorer

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