She’s stuck with role as friendship initiator

Every member of a group plays a role. The extrovert's role could be setting up meetings and activities, and keeping in touch.



April 24, 2020 - 3:23 PM

Hi, Carolyn: I wonder if you can help me sort out the hurt and anger I have come to feel in some of my friendships. I find myself often being the initiator for getting together with my peers. In general I’m a leader type, confident, extroverted. I typically reach out first when I want to see someone or talk.

But I get tired of my role as the initiator. So then I go quiet, sometimes for many weeks, and … don’t hear from some of my friends, then miss them, want to see them, and … I cave, and initiate coffee, drinks at my house, or a walk. Nearly always my overtures are reciprocated; I believe they are genuinely glad to hear from me.

I don’t do most social media, so I understand I am choosing not to be as present in those ways.

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