Struggling over sister’s surprise pregnancy

A sister who tried unsuccessfully to have children is struggling with news of her sister's surprise pregnancy. Being frank and honest about your struggles is the best approach, Carolyn Hax responds.



January 11, 2023 - 2:05 PM

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Dear Carolyn: I struggled with infertility for many years and ultimately chose to be childless after many unsuccessful fertility treatments. A few weeks ago, my sister announced a surprise pregnancy, and I’m really struggling with it. How do I tell her this without sounding like a terrible, jealous person?

This will be the only grandchild in our family, and I can’t help feeling as if she’s getting something unfairly. There are some other family dynamics at play here. (Things always seem to work out for her, and my parents give her much more support.)

I feel like a terrible person/sister, but I’m also really struggling.

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