Maybe it’s not all about you

As in, maybe they’re. . . hoarders? Or the wife is controlling and now welcomes her family only. Or they’re poly and don’t want you to know that, and the third partner lives with them. Or they have something in their house they don’t want you to see...

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March 6, 2020 - 3:53 PM

Hi, Carolyn: I am the youngest of three grown kids. Our dad passed away a few years ago, and our mom lives in a nursing home. We all live in different places, one on the opposite coast.

Carolyn Hax

A few years ago, the oldest and his wife decided, for reasons unbeknownst to us, that we weren’t welcome at their house anymore. There was no fight, no falling-out to precipitate this that I’m aware of, and they had hosted only one gathering there, so they weren’t expected to host everything, either. We get along fine, for the most part — except we’re just not allowed to come to their house. The wife’s brother is welcome anytime. Our other brother is not welcome at the oldest’s house, either.

Our house is always open to them, of course, and they visit a couple of times a year.

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