Dear Carolyn: I dont want to be that mother. You know, the kind inappropriately invested in her kid winning, achieving, etc. But I have those tendencies, because I think I was raised that way myself.
How do I make sure my child lives up to her potential without hounding her to distraction? She is a smart, ambitious child. She has friends and interests. She knows how to stand up for herself. She is a feisty 12-year-old. But she still needs guidance, and I struggle on how to balance it. The Tiger Mother in Me
Dear Tiger: Who says she has to live up to her potential?
What does that even mean?
Who defines it your daughter, you, her peers, society at large?
And shouldnt it be your daughter herself who makes sure?
I think the best way to cage your tiger is to make a habit of questioning your own assumptions about whats good for your daughters future, until the habit becomes a reflex. I cant see the impulse to hound a child surviving that process intact.