Mom’s guilt trip could have dangerous consequences

Tune out her “one last time” violins, and think. What if you do see her, and you infect her with the illness, which then kills her. Won’t that guilt be absolutely horrific?



April 13, 2020 - 9:00 AM

Dear Carolyn: I don’t think my mom even realizes she does it, but she’s always used emotional blackmail to get people to do things. “If you love me you’ll do XYZ.” “People who love their mothers do XYZ.” “Only uncaring people wouldn’t do XYZ.” I’ve learned to set boundaries and do pretty well.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Well, our state is under a “shelter in place” order. She has enough food and supplies to last her a month. But she’s lonely. I’ve ramped up my calling her. But it’s not enough for her.

She has now started with, “I’ll probably die from this and I want to see you one last time, so if you love me you’ll come visit me.” She is 70 and lives in a building for the elderly. I’m still working full time and have had lots of exposure. She shouldn’t leave, and I shouldn’t go there.

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