Navigating COVID-19 based wedding drama

"There are right and wrong decisions here, and your mingling with people who refuse to take precautions poses enough risk to be the wrong one."



July 13, 2020 - 8:52 AM

Dear Carolyn: My fiance and I are both doctors in a midsize city. We’ve spent the past several months, like so many in health care and in the world beyond, absolutely horrified by covid-19 and shocked that some don’t seem to be taking it seriously. Given our work, we’ve been as vigilant as possible; we care for covid patients and recognize we are at high risk to be potential vectors.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

My fiance’s sister is supposed to get married this month in a different state. Despite our voiced discomfort, the current plan is for a 95-person wedding — grandparents and all! — in his parents’ backyard with absolutely no covid precautions. Masks and physical distancing are not on the table; they say things have “gone back to normal” where they are. They do not live in New Zealand; they live here, in the United States of America.

They get their news from far more conservative sources than we do, don’t know people who have been sick and don’t think it can happen to them. Their only concession has been to say they will understand if we feel we can’t come.

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