She hates her job. How to talk about it?

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November 24, 2020 - 10:35 AM

Dear Carolyn: I’m lucky to be able to telework three days a week. On the other two days, I have a 1.5-hour commute (each way) and I share an office with a guy I can’t stand, so on office days a lot of my debriefing involves complaints about those things.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

My husband has gotten very frustrated with me for being in a job where I “seem unhappy” 40 percent of the time. He is a creative professional doing what he loves, and to him it doesn’t make sense to suffer inconveniences like a commute and officemate, even though I get a paycheck for doing so.

This difference in perspectives is really starting to bother me, since our children are at an age where everything we say counts. They are not trust-fund babies, and I don’t want them to get the idea that it’s wrong to tolerate small daily hardships — which in my view is why you get paid to work. He doesn’t want them to think it’s okay to tolerate a working life that isn’t more fun than, well, work. How do we reconcile these differences and send our kids a consistent message?

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