She needs help with her living will

"I’m flummoxed. Friends I have consulted have said I am not being fair to the others because we didn’t have the same chance to form a close relationship, and that by only naming Mary I could cause family strain. The last thing I want to do is create problems."

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March 2, 2021 - 8:14 AM

Hi, Carolyn: It’s time to update my will. I am a widow, in my 70s, modest income, own my own (modest) home, never had my own kids, but have nieces and nephews. They grew up in a different part of the country, but I saw them for short periods during their childhood summers. We were affectionate then.

Now that they are adults in their 30s and 40s, I rarely see or hear from them, with one exception, “Mary.” Mary and I formed a close relationship when she came to my city for college. I did not get the same chance with the others.

Mary and her husband are the only ones with kids, and they have a disabled child who will probably always be a dependent. For this reason and, honestly, because we are close and I’d like to help with finances, I am thinking of naming her as my main beneficiary. I also plan to specify a charity, two close friends and my two siblings with more modest portions.

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