She’s on the verge of a breakdown

'Know, too, there’s no single code for “how to keep going.” There is only whatever works — and that can even mean just staggering from day to terrible day, food-work-sleep, until things change. Because things will change. They always do.'



January 27, 2021 - 5:15 PM

Dear Carolyn: I skipped my weekly Zoom with my fellow mom friends last night, again, because I can’t bear to hear them complain about their pandemic lifestyles. Their kids are all in in-person school, none of them has lost a job and none is in financial difficulty. I know there are other stressors and I’m sympathetic, to a point, and I guess I’ve hit that point. One just got home from vacation. (She was careful, but still).

My situation is the opposite, which they know, but I feel like when they ask how I’m doing, all I’m likely to do is complain, and I don’t want to be that person. Meanwhile my husband is floundering at his job because remote work is affecting his team. We have no bubble — friends’ kids are in a private, in-person school whereas ours are in public, remote school, and hating it — and no family anywhere close. I may drop out of my grad program to cope, and I’ve lost half my freelance work.

I just don’t know how to go on, how to ask for help without sounding like I’m whining, and even what kind of help anyone can give. Maybe I just need to cry to someone who listens. I’m sorry. I hate this and don’t know how to keep going.

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