Should fiance’s mother know relationship details?

"I can’t think of anything that would alienate you from your new mother-in-law faster than putting a gag order on her son."

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September 17, 2020 - 9:08 AM

Dear Carolyn: The two people my fiance confides in the most are his mother and his ex-girlfriend, now best friend. At first I was uncomfortable with his talking to his ex, but I am slowly getting over that as I get to know her better. She is a true friend to him and I trust her. However, his mother . . . not the case. I’ve always felt that sharing details of arguments and problems in our relationship with his mother or my mother is just asking for problems. She and I are still trying to build our relationship, and I don’t need her knowing those sometimes unpleasant details and then judging me or holding them against me after he and I have moved on.

I don’t think she’s entirely capable of being unbiased in her advice and therefore have asked him to not share our private lives with her. He isn’t happy with the request but has honored it because he loves me. Am I being unreasonable?

— Trying to Do the Right Thing

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