Sister-in-law’s friend was husband’s ex

'It’s important to stand up to bullying. No argument there. It’s your methods that are so problematic. This is the sister’s best friend and your husband’s ex, so full erasure likely isn’t possible even if it were desirable, which I’m not sure it is, because an unspoken adult “You don’t scare me anymore, Honey” is always the winning play.'

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July 16, 2020 - 8:25 AM

Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been together eight years and married for two. His family has always had an issue with me because I am older with two children from a different relationship. They have never respected me, although I have never given them a reason not to and always bent over backward to please them.

Carolyn Hax

My husband’s sister and father have butted heads with me the most. She has come between my husband and me on several occasions. I caught her best friend sleeping with my husband about three years into our relationship — which of course I blame him for the most. When I found out, he left me for her. It lasted for months. I was in a very dark place. About a year later we worked things out, got back together and got married. We have one son and another on the way.

While I was pregnant, my sister-in-law invited us to a party where her friend, the one who slept with my husband, would also be. My husband and I both refused to go, and she threw a tantrum. I set her straight. I told her I would never feel comfortable around this woman and I do not want her anywhere near my husband or my family ever. She said she was sorry and understood.

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