Dear Carolyn: My grandfather is in his 90s. Hes in great health overall, is mentally very sharp and lives very close to family. My mother has taken to lying to him when she has something planned that my grandfather will not be participating in a family portrait, for example, or a vacation, at least up until the point that we leave because my mother says my grandfather has a tendency to lay the guilt on thick.
Part of me is fine with my mom doing what she needs to do, but she asks us to lie, too (Dont tell your grandfather .?.?.). He always asks about these things. I have told my mom this bothers me and that I dont like the lying.
I suppose theres an argument that its somehow sparing my grandfathers feelings when things are going on without him? But I dont ever see that as the reason for my mothers actions.