Stay-at-home mom hurt when in-law goes back to work

Hi, Carolyn: I am a stay-at-home mom of children 9, 7 and 4. My brother and his wife had their first baby three months ago. Before the baby was born, my sister-in-law, “Sue,” told me she was thinking of staying home full time and asked me to share any thoughts and tips I had. I spent the next few months introducing her to other moms in my local SAHM community and offering up every piece of advice I had so she would feel supported if she joined in. I really would have loved to have Sue become a permanent part of our community.

She announced last week she’s going back to work and leaving the baby with a nanny for “a variety of reasons” (not financial).

For some reason, I am feeling very hurt. I really threw myself into trying to welcome her into SAHM life and I feel she surveyed the resources I showed her and decided they simply weren’t good enough. Worse, I feel she is judging me in a way she didn’t before, now that she has met my friends and knows more about my daily life.