Wife wants to help depressed husband

You have more than enough to feel and more than enough to work on right now — please don’t add “change my feelings toward those people” to your chore list.



October 21, 2020 - 8:50 AM

Dear Carolyn: Please help! My husband is depressed to the point that he is not functional, he is in treatment with medications and talking to his doctor. I am getting help so I can stay strong and give him all the support he needs.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Now the question is, what to do with the well-intentioned people who constantly advise me on what to do? Go on a trip, go for walks, sit on the deck, an endless list! I react to that advice with a mixture of sadness and anger so strong that I cannot even talk. I just feel like crying, because they have no idea what it is like. On a daily basis, he doesn’t even want to eat, drink or shower, and people advise me to go on a trip. Aghhh. And those people who want to know: Does he shower? I don’t even know what to say to them. I don’t know how to change my feelings toward those people.

— Caretaker Wife

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