‘Only one trip’ for this journey of life

opinions

January 3, 2014 - 12:00 AM

When the designer Iris Apfel was asked to give three words to describe her bountiful life, she said, “Only one trip.”
That the 92-year-old fashion maven, known for her over-the-top style, could reply in so few words indicates it wasn’t the first time she’d considered the question. She lives her life purposefully and fully, knowing she’s only got one shot at it.
As the New Year came round, I realized we don’t get to usher in very many over our lifetimes. Same with birthdays. It’s counterintuitive that as I’ve gotten older I make less and less a big deal about milestones. If you knew this were to be your last new year to celebrate, wouldn’t you live it up?
This year my resolution is to celebrate life more.
But, I’m going to need help.
First off, I need to thaw out.
I once dated a man of Finnish origin who regarded it as torture to say, “I love you.” He was warm of heart, but used the cold climate of his ancestors as an excuse to keep his emotions under wrap. He also avoided conflict like the plague, so when things got rough it seemed I was the only one with a beef.
I could deal with the lack of outward affection much easier than the reticence to discuss thorny issues.
I balance that behavior with my new daughter-in-law, Violeta, whose Latin American blood is inherently infused with a celebratory strain.
She is a natural bon vivant who loves good food, drink and company.
When she first arrived in the United States Violeta began going to a nearby library to converse in English with other international students. It was a casual affair provided by volunteers.
After a few months, Violeta invited the group to her apartment for lunch.
Of the five women, it was the first time they had been invited to someone else’s home since they had arrived in the United States, even though some had been here several years.
I wish I could say I regularly invite new acquaintances for dinner.

I’VE LEARNED from my co-workers that little things can make a big difference to our collective mood. Because most of us are behind computers, it’s easy to fall into the bad habit of barely looking up when fellow employees come and go. From personal experience, I’ve learned that a simple “good morning,” and “have a nice night” makes a difference to how I feel not only about myself, but also with those I work. It’s nice to be welcomed in the morning and bid adieu at day’s end.
“Only one trip” acknowledges we have only one shot at this life.
My goal is to celebrate life more fully by worrying less about bad moments, making more of the good and going out with no regrets.

— Susan Lynn

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