Acceptance isn’t easy, but it doesn’t have to be so hard

Behaviors caused by mental health problems need to be looked at as inevitable and immutable.



March 26, 2020 - 9:56 AM

Carolyn Hax

Hi, Carolyn: Common mental health parlance often talks about “accepting” x about y person. What does that look like? How do you make your brain not expect or wish for certain things or not be frustrated when people — my mom for example — do completely insane things, like let her windows rot out, and then be upset when I won’t let my kids spend the night there? How do I accept that?

I don’t mean that snarkily — I mean, what would acceptance of maddening, sad, upsetting things like that actually look like in practice?

I’ve already altered my expectations, but it still gets under my skin to see her live like that, to feel her judge me and get upset that I won’t stay there, to stare at me so hard that I have to ask what is wrong. — Anonymous

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