Feeling stereotyped by helpless partner

A reader's partner is making life difficult by failing to grasp basic household tasks. But there is a line between talking normally to an adult and being a feared "snarkmonster," Carolyn Hax warns.



April 14, 2022 - 3:05 PM

Photo by pixabay.com

Dear Carolyn: I’ve always heard, “Men are guests in their own houses,” from the old wives I know, and try as I might to resist gender stereotypes in my own life, this one seems to ring true in my house.

My partner has lived in our apartment for as long as I have, yet I feel like every single day I am answering questions about where we keep the cleaning supplies, how often we change the sheets, etc. If I ask him to take over basic tasks — like cleaning or changing the sheets — I still have to manage the whole operation at some level, and it never seems to get any better. Four years and counting!

I’m getting sick of it. What is the simplest way to get him to start internalizing some of the details of how we — not I, but we — run our household? — Stereotype

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