Dear Carolyn: I’m kind of freaked out about my girlfriend’s unplanned pregnancy. She was planning to have an abortion, but she backed out. Now she is saying she can’t go through with it and will have the baby and give it up for adoption. I think this is all due to her mom working on her emotions. She should never have told her mom, and I am secretly mad she did. Even though they are very close, she should have kept this to herself.
I am not ready to be a father and was very clear on that to my girlfriend. I’m worried she will change her mind again and keep the baby and I will be stuck. She’s really emotional and confused right now but all I can see is that she’s going to ruin our lives because her mom stuck her nose in where it didn’t belong.
How do I support my girlfriend through this pregnancy, which I want to do, while still making it clear I am not on board with being a father? I will pay the child support for 18 years but that’s all I’m willing to do. I’m not going to be a father to a child because we got drunk and had unprotected sex one time. Should I lay this all on the line now? Waiting to see if she actually does give the baby up seems too risky. — Not Ready to Be a Father