Mom pressures adult dependent son

A mother's adult son continues to live with his father while attending college. His lack of ambition has led to friction among all three.



January 31, 2023 - 2:32 PM

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Dear Carolyn: My adult son lives with his dad. He took six years to earn an associate’s degree. He has been working the same part-time job since high school — except during peak COVID, when, much to his delight, he earned more through unemployment than he did when he was working.

I’m encouraging him to get a full-time job; he’s talking about a bachelor’s degree. Cynical me says that’s because living off dad is easier than working and paying his own bills. And, because we are paying for his younger brother’s bachelor’s, he expects we will do the same for him.

Dad seems content to allow the situation to continue; he’s certainly reluctant to force any changes. Son’s demeanor toward me — not others — is confrontational and at times aggressively defiant. How dare I expect him to get a job!

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