Dear Carolyn: I don’t necessarily believe in the notion of “settling,” because I think most partners can offer us wonderful things, but I do believe it’s not wise to choose a partner out of fear rather than love.
My brother is marrying “Annie” next year. He has been in love with her for a decade and is thrilled she said yes. She has openly expressed that she doesn’t have the same passionate feelings for him but does think he is a great partner and hopes her love grows over time. She is in her mid-30s — he’s 44 — and, reading between the lines, I think she believes this is her Last Real Chance to settle down and have babies and all that.
My brother is evidently okay with this. He adores her and has self-esteem issues dating back to childhood.
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