Sometimes it’s laziness, sometimes it’s ADHD

By

Community

April 15, 2019 - 9:37 AM

Dear Carolyn: You sometimes advise people to get screened for depression or ADHD based on things like procrastinating, forgetting things, failing to follow through, etc. How do you determine when to look for a diagnosis, and when someone is just lazy, inconsiderate, has bad habits, etc., and wants to co-opt legitimate diagnoses as an excuse? —  Anonymous

 

Character. It shows itself in so many ways that it’s always available to arbitrate.

To use your example: You’re not sure whether someone’s “failing to follow through” is a matter of disability or choice. So, look to expressions of character that aren’t about productivity. Is this person honest? Kind to those with less power, like children, pets, service staff, the needy or infirm? Does this person ask questions? Listen carefully? Feel empathy? Remain open to different views?

It’s also a sign of character not to point fingers unless and until every compassionate option’s ruled out. Ideally not even then.

Related
February 12, 2021
August 23, 2019
August 9, 2018
April 2, 2018