Staying together by living apart

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Community

December 31, 2019 - 9:18 AM

Hi, Carolyn: In five years of marriage, my husband and I agree we were happiest during a six-month period we spent living apart while I did a fellowship in another city. We talked on the phone every night, we got the quiet time we both thrive on and the quality time we spent together became special again instead of routine. And so we have decided to move into two separate apartments.

We are both looking forward to shaking things up a bit, excited about our respective new neighborhoods and feeling great about defining OUR marriage OUR way. However, you can imagine the negativity we have received from the people around us.

And maybe I just let this doubt infect me unnecessarily, but suddenly I am beginning to question whether we’re crazy. And imagining my husband’s enthusiasm is just because he’s secretly laying groundwork to start an affair. (I don’t think so, but …?) And worrying the naysayers are right: This is just the first step toward inevitable divorce.

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