Like many native Kansans, I consumed both seasons of Bridget Everett’s charming HBO series “Somebody Somewhere” like potluck desserts at a family gathering.
As a University of Kansas grad now working for Kansas State University Research and Extension, the college town tribal references were especially enjoyable — from the Jayhawk and “Louise’s West” Lawrence dive bar T-shirts worn by Everett’s character Sam to the purple pride displayed throughout the show by Murray Hill’s character Fred Rococo, a K-State agriculture professor. These visual symbols of connection to college towns set the stage within this series for a deeper exploration of community, the creation of chosen family, and the quest for healing and connection between middle-age adults.
This quest for community, and the inevitable highs and lows of connection, have a demonstrated effect on the mental state of each character in the show. Without revealing any plot spoilers, I’ll just say that when community is present (routine breakfast dates, choir practice or church) the characters experience joy, and when human connections are lost (strained relationships, canceled activities) the characters become despondent.
Because we are wired to connect, we see these characters experience social pain as real as physical pain. Neuroscience recognizes threats to our survival as things that cause us pain, and the fact that social pain exists is an evolutionary sign that social connection and community are necessities for survival, not luxuries.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness describes community as a feeling of connection that provides a sense of belonging, support and purpose. As social beings, this feeling is critical for us to thrive, especially since one in five of us experience mental illness each year and already face the common symptoms of loneliness and isolation. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to community, but finding people you connect with through shared interests, values or beliefs is vital for your mental health.
“Somebody Somewhere” demonstrates how music and humor bring people together and how individual presence is missed. We all need each other — just as important as finding our own community is for others to have us as part of their community.
The benefits of community are even more important in small towns, where people are geographically isolated while working in high-stress occupations like agriculture. Unpredictable weather, heavy workloads and financial worries can sometimes take their toll on farm families like Sam’s parents. Members can face mental and emotional distress, substance abuse, anxiety, depression, and even suicide. Resources such as KansasAgStress.org and community connections make a difference in people getting the help they need.
A sense of community doesn’t just improve mental health outcomes; history has shown that social connections make us more likely to live through disasters. Looking at the deadly Chicago Heat Wave of 1995, sociologist Eric Klinenberg conducted a “social autopsy” over years of fieldwork to determine why some neighborhoods experienced greater mortality than others, ultimately finding isolation was a primary contributor.
The literal and social isolation of seniors, the institutional abandonment of poor neighborhoods, and the retrenchment of public assistance led to more fatalities in the neighborhoods where these factors were present.
“When hundreds of people die behind locked doors and sealed windows, out of contact with friends, family, community groups and public agencies, everyone is implicated in their demise,” Klinenberg wrote in 2003.
As a community vitality extension agent in southeast Kansas, I’ve worried about a similar trend resulting from the recent pandemic. We became more comfortable with isolation and communicating virtually instead of face-to-face. Many organizations, events and activities in our towns have returned with smaller numbers or not returned at all.
Loneliness has become a public health epidemic, and the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community (2023) has called on us all to build a movement to mend the social fabric of our nation.
It’s not too late.
As seen in the most recent episodes, capping season two of “Somebody Somewhere,” relationships can be rebuilt, if we open ourselves to engaging with those around us. Attending community gatherings like a wedding, performing a public service, and sharing a common interest and experience — like music — all remind us that the keys to human connection are simple but powerful. They feel pretty good, too.
