Writing the obituary of a loved one usually comes at a bad time. Which is unfortunate, considering it’s one of the most-read items in the Register and is preserved in perpetuity in the archives of the Kansas Historical Society.
Genealogists, historians and those simply interested in their family histories plumb our archives to learn about the deceased, whether it’s a recent death or someone who goes back multiple generations.
An obituary is the chance to capture their life story.
The easiest way to write an obituary is to get the necessary information out of the way first. Local funeral homes have forms that help families stay on task, including the who, where and when, basic biographical information, major accomplishments, survivors, and the service times and dates.
After that’s completed, step away, and think about how the deceased would want to be remembered.
If I could do it over, I’d add to my mother’s obituary that her greatest gift was a short memory. She never nursed a grudge, always making for an even-keeled home. I think that memory would have made her feel appreciated.
Future generations want to know what made someone tick; what made them eager to face the day. Perhaps it’s a career, or children, a love of music, the outdoors, a hobby or some physical feat.
All that information can give us insight into our own lives.
When writing an obituary it’s best to avoid platitudes such as “never met a stranger,” “a wonderful person,” “a life well-lived” if they don’t include illustrations.
Jack Franklin’s recent obituary is a good example.
It reads: “A true ‘Jack of all trades,’” and goes on to describe a career that involved construction, real estate, heavy equipment sales, bulk fuel distributor, auctioneer and farmer.
We learn from the obituary of Marilyn Davis — as feisty as they come — that she was a public servant, including terms on the Humboldt Council, the town’s historical society, and, her favorite, Freedom’s Frontier National Heritage Area, which strives to preserve the region’s cultural history, especially during the Civil War and civil rights movement.
While obituaries remind us of how transient life is, they’re also what keep us connected. They are our history. It can’t get any more personal than that.
