An open microphone in Christine O’Donnell’s Dela-ware headquarters captured this Monday night ritual. The candidate’s voice was easy to identify. The other two we can only assume were her closest advisers. In the interests of accuracy (and pure jest), the Register has left in comments that will offend animal lovers and seem callous to others.
Christine: Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.
Adviser 1: Three and once, the hedge-pig whin’d.
Adviser 2: Harpier cries: — ’tis time! ’tis time!
C. Round about the computer go: In the poison’d entrails throw. Toad, that under cold stone, days and nights has thirty-one; swelter’s venom sleeping got, boil thou first in the charmed pot!
All three: Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and website bubble.
Advisor 1: Fillet of a fenny snake, in the hard drive boil and bake; eye of newt and toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog, adder’s fork and blind-worms’s sting, lizards’s leg and owlet’s wing, — for a charm of powerful trouble, like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
All: Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and website bubble!
Adviser 2: Scale of dragon; tooth of wolf; witches’ mum-my; maw and gulf of the ravin’s salt-sea shark; root of hemlock, digged in the dark; liver of blaspheming Rove; gall of goat and slips of clove slivered in the moon’s eclipse; nose of Paul, O’Reilly’s lips; finger of birth-strangled Beck ditch-delivered by a witch — make the gruel thick and slab; add thereto a Foxy demon, for the ingredients of our cauldron.
All: Double, double toil and trouble; fire burn, and website bubble.
Adviser 2: Cool it with Time’s fresh blood; then the charm is firm and good. There, if that don’t do it, nothing could!
C. Omigod, who left this mike on?
With a nod of thanks to Shakespeare’s prescient witches.
