The NFL fined Bucs QB Tom Brady $11,139 for attempting to kick the Falcons’ Grady Jarrett after Brady was tackled.
So there you have it: the league’s first roughing-the-sacker penalty.
Headlines
— At Fark.com: “What are you in for? Bank robbery. You? Murder. You? Cheating at fishing.”
— At BorowitzReport.com: “Herschel Walker categorically denies ever playing football.”
On thin ice
The Western Hockey League’s Swift Current Broncos reported a net loss of $349,000 for the 2021-22 season.
That’s what you call caught crossing the red line.
He hits strikes
Dodgers outfielder Mookie Betts celebrated his 30th birthday by bowling a 300 game two days later.
A true unicorn, he’s a 300 hitter in two sports.
Underwhelming
The over-under for Thursday night’s Bears-Commanders game was 38.
The points scored (19), punts (10) and sacks (8) didn’t even add up to that.
Tweet of the Week
“If they made ‘Bull Durham’ today, Nuke LaLoosh would be on a pitch count and never see the 5th (expletive) inning.” — @Super70sSports
Big Bet Machine
BetMGM announced that it is now an official sports betting partner of the Cincinnati Reds, including a sportsbook at Great American Ballpark.
“Say what?” said Pete Rose, dropping his tout sheet.
Not so fast, my friend
Cassie, a robot developed at Oregon State, broke the world record for bipedal robots by clocking 24.73 seconds in the 100-meter dash.
But rumor has it they found STP in its postrace urine sample.
Field goals galore
This score in from the Big Ten: Illinois 9, Iowa 6.
