Help for a grieving husband

Keep doing what you’re doing: Be watchful, and hold him when he cries. His doing that obviously is the opposite of bottling things up. It’s okay not to press the counseling issue.



November 16, 2020 - 8:45 AM

Dear Carolyn: My husband’s lifelong best friend died two weeks ago. My husband has been acting like everything is okay, and at the funeral he was the one comforting everyone else, but I could tell he was hurting and encouraged him to talk to me or look into grief counseling. He assured me he’s fine.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

Well, yesterday I came home and found him sobbing uncontrollably. I held him until he stopped crying, but as soon as he stopped, he again insisted he’s okay and doesn’t need to talk to anyone.

I know he was raised not to show emotions — I have actually heard my father-in-law say the words “Real men don’t cry” — but I don’t think it’s healthy for him to just bottle things up. What do you think I can do for my husband?

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