Dear Carolyn: I will be a bridesmaid in the wedding of a dear friend who lives out of state. My partner of four years is also invited. I’m torn about whether he should come.
On the one hand, I will be busy with wedding stuff for nearly the whole time, and I know he would be bored and stressed about work if he came. (He has met the bride only once and has never met the groom.) I would be just as happy for him to stay home.
On the other, I would hate for my friend to feel it was some sort of snub if he didn’t come. I’m also nervous because his history of depression has meant that he frequently did not accompany me to things in the past, and I don’t want my friends and family to get a bad impression of him.