Couple’s first vacation portends trouble

A couple's first vacation has gone off the rails because each has a wildly different sleep schedule. A lack of compromise could mean troubles for more than just a vacation, Carolyn Hax notes.



February 13, 2023 - 2:35 PM

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Dear Carolyn: My partner and I are on our first couple vacation, and it turns out our vacationing styles are mismatched. It now seems silly not to have anticipated this — at home I often wake up in the morning to find he has JUST gone to bed — but I am wanting to get out early in the morning and see sunrises, ride bikes, etc., before all the tourists crowd the streets, while he wants to sleep in and considers it “not a vacation” if he has to rise at any set time.

We want to be with each other, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to get our rhythms together. We don’t have the money for a big trip every year, so this will probably come up every few years at most. How can we set good couple vacation habits now?

— Vacationing

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