You know that oat milk doesn’t come from a cow, right? Right? Of course you do.
In fact, I feel pretty sure that all but a few misguided souls know that oat milk — or almond milk, or soy milk or whatever plant-based product you choose — is not “milk” in the old-fashioned sense.
When I ask the barista for a little oat milk in my morning coffee, it’s precisely because I don’t want dairy.
This isn’t hard. So maybe it’s just Roger Marshall and a few other farm state senators who are confused.
The Kansas Republican this week announced a new bill to prohibit non-dairy plant-based milks and yogurts from labeling themselves “milk” or “yogurt.”
Why? Because American consumers are apparently dazed and bewildered by the proliferation of non-bovine-secreted beverages in the refrigerated sections of their local grocery stores. Marshall is here to protect them.
“Misleading labels on non-dairy products, which are often nutritionally inferior, cause confusion and undermine the value of real dairy,” Marshall said in a Wednesday press release.
That supposed “mislabeling” does “harm” to dairy farmers “who tirelessly meet rigorous health standards to deliver the most nutritious drink known to man.”
The bill, incidentally, is called the DAIRY PRIDE Act. The capital letters signify one of the more exhausting acronyms in recent legislative history: The full title is the “Defending Against Imitations and Replacements of Yogurt, milk, and cheese to Promote Regular Intake of Dairy Everyday Act.”
Say a little prayer for the legislative aide or lobbyist who had to come up with that one.
This is all a little silly.
More Americans going hungry
So silly, in fact, you might be wondering why I’m using this space to call out Marshall’s bill. Aren’t there more important things going on in the world?
There are. Here’s one: A lot of Americans — and maybe a few of Marshall’s constituents — are likely to go hungry because of President Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill.
The law makes big cuts and imposes new eligibility requirements for the SNAP program, which will end up causing an estimated 22.3 million families to lose all or part of their food benefits.
Marshall voted for that bill, by the way.
All those SNAP cuts, incidentally, are going to put an even bigger burden on community food banks that serve underprivileged folks.
