Friend’s boyfriend is too creepy to hang out with

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August 6, 2019 - 10:15 AM

Dear Carolyn: Like that New Yorker cartoon about a guy making plans — “How about never — is never good for you?” — I find myself in a pickle. A longtime friend lives with a man who makes my skin crawl for many reasons: financial vampire on her, drinks too much, always in a sour mood, always fighting with her family, but most of all, it’s hard to watch her bend over backward to “make” him happy when he does zippo for her. Every few months, she will want me and my husband to meet them halfway between our cities for lunch or go to their apartment for dinner and stay overnight.

I know I can’t change her choice in men or make her go to therapy to discern why she chose this guy, but I’m running out of excuses for why we can never get together. I’m also not sure what to say when she says none of our mutual friends ever visits — they feel as we do about her beau.

I try to see her solo for brunch once a month to make sure she’s OK, but otherwise, I dread having the “couples date” convo when it crops up. Advice? — Never Is Good for Me

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