Husband needs time to accept fatherhood



January 7, 2020 - 9:52 AM

Hi, Carolyn: A few weeks ago, we found out I was pregnant. I was thrilled. My husband had come to the conclusion — after several years of trying — that we were better off without a child. He’s genuinely doing his best to adjust to this new reality, be supportive and be excited about the process. How can I best help him in adjusting to what will (hopefully) be a very different future than what he imagined? — Expecting


Expecting: The best I can suggest is to give him room to still feel he doesn’t want to be a father. He is a father now, so that’s really hard, but when a thought or feeling becomes unspeakable, it can get so heavy. Listen, listen, listen, and let him know you won’t shout him down or shame him for expressing tough thoughts as he processes all this.

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