She’s embraced sobriety. Now what?

Please consider it safe to assume you are, by a long shot, the only one who gets to care what you don’t have in your glass. Bring yourself back to that thought as needed, like a mantra, especially when people take “friendly” jabs at your seltzer orders.



November 2, 2020 - 7:45 AM

Dear Carolyn: I’m a late-40s professional woman with a drinking problem. I keep a job and have a successful career and happy family, but I drink too much and have for some time. Corona lockdown really made things worse. I struggled with quitting and with shame, and I’m now 23 days sober.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

I haven’t told any of my friends or family — except my husband — because of shame, the worry that it will alter all of my relationships, and that certain folks won’t choose to spend time with me anymore. At this point, my plan is to just tell them I’m doing a Sober October and kick the talk down the road a bit.

How do I deal with this? I don’t want to be an object of pity and I don’t want to be a killjoy.

July 11, 2022
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