She’s not sure which family to support

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March 25, 2021 - 9:07 AM

Dear Carolyn: I have no idea what the right decision is here. We’re a family of three adult sisters. My sister “Leah” is estranged from our mom because Mom won’t accept that she’s gay. My other sister, “May,” wants to plan a family trip — post-Covid, of course. We’ve traditionally done these trips every few years, and we meet in a central spot for a few days of fun.

Leah won’t vacation with Mom, which I understand and support. So do I go? I’d like to see Dad and May and the cousins, but, if I go, am I condoning Mom’s behavior? So I skip and hurt May? I’m just not sure what the right thing to do is.

— Just Not Sure

Just Not Sure: If you skip, then it’s your mother hurting May — and hurting your father and these cousins — by forcing you all to choose between your mother and Leah. Which really isn’t a choice, once you put it to even a moment’s scrutiny: You stand by your sister, not the person rejecting who she is.

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