The sacrifices of becoming a parent

"Please speak for yourself, get over yourself and, when you achieve those two, apologize for presuming so much."

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September 18, 2020 - 2:28 PM

Dear Carolyn: My wife is 26 and says she’s ready to have a baby, but I think she’s too young and we should wait. I know on paper the timing looks right. We both have good, stable jobs and good health insurance and financially a baby is doable, but I think it is the wrong decision for other reasons.

Carolyn HaxCourtesy photo

I think my wife underestimates how much work and drudgery it’s going to be and may someday look back and regret having kids so young and wish we’d waited a few more years. I’m 33 and couldn’t imagine having kids when I was 26. It would have been awful since it would have meant the end of my leisure.

I say you have such a short time to be young and carefree and you have forever to be tied down — why rush it? We have plenty of time to have kids. We’ve only been married for two years, so there’s nothing wrong, in my mind, with her enjoying the next couple of years carefree and then having a baby once she’s closer to 30 and her friends have started settling down and starting families. Then she’ll have company and won’t feel so isolated.

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